Matrix Addicts Anonymous
by SunGoddess7
Summary: Hello, my name is Jenna, and I am obsessed with the Matrix. It's been five hours since I've last watched 'The Matrix'. A couple minutes ago I had the urge to watch it, but me and my sponser talked it out, and I ended up supressing my urge. OH MAN, I NE
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimer: No, I don't own the Matrix. I'm just obsessed with it. There's a difference!

Matrix Addicts Anonymous

Do you think _you _might be addicted? Take this questionaire to determine whether or not you may suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Matrix Disorder.

Do you or have you....?

Read 'Simulacra and Simulation' after watching 'The Matrix'?

Watched 'The Matrix' 50+ times?

Watched 'Bound' and, if available, 'Assassins'?

Now own two trenchcoats resembling those of either Neo's, Trinity's, or Morpheus'?

Gone out and rented every movie available starring either Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Ann Moss, Laurence Fishbourne, and Hugo Weaving?

Bought a black Lincoln Continental despite the fact that it put you ten years into debt and sucked 90% of the money you had been saving to get you through college?

Painted the walls of your room a very light shade of green, and piled electronics everywhere to simulate that of Neo's apartment building?

At 9:18 and 1:01 hold a moment of silence to honor your beloved 'Matrix'?

Rented a hotel room and insisted that it be either room 101 or 303?

Now dress in black and sunglasses while carrying around a duffel bag that contains a loud ticking alarm clock?

Reply to your friend when they ask you what do you need, "Guns, lots of guns"?

Shot your computer monitor so that it resembles that of the Nebuchadnezzar?

Now actually know how to say and spell 'Nebuchadnezzar'?

Bought a full length mirror and written the phrase 'Temet Nosce' above it?

Given your friends the Mouse monologue when they ask what it is you have served them?

Gotten an all black pet cat and named it 'Deja Vu'?

Bought three sets of outfits: One for the Matrix, one for the Construct, and one for the Real World? 

Seriously believe that the world around you is just a computer program, and are now just waiting for the crew to come and pull you out?

Deliver the pill speech to your friends every time you eat red and blue jelly beans?

Get especially happy at Easter because of all the white rabbits?

Drop whatever your doing whenever you hear the word 'Matrix'?

Stood in a phone booth, picked up the receiver, and delivered the ending speech to the Operator?

Manage to fit at least ten lines from the movie into your every day speech?

Begin to drool at the very mention of 'Keanu Reeves'? *starts doing that right now*

Started dreaming in bullettime? (or is that just me?)

Made the Matrix code your screen saver as well as your desktop wallpaper?

All of your bookmarked sites have the word 'Matrix' in there somewhere?

Stopped using 'Matrix' brand hair products because you think that somehow the shampoo/hairspray/etc will seep into your brain and make you part of an evil computer program?

Refuse to use any other haircare product but 'Matrix' brand because somehow you think it'll make you 'Know Kung-Fu'?

Ever gone to the dentist and as their asking about your day, you say just like Neo, "I know Kung-Fu"?

Bought a dentist chair, ruffed it up, and then situated in the basement of your house while putting your computer console around it, calling your basement 'The Core'?

Every time the phone rings, you give it a wary look before picking it up and saying, almost reluctantly, "Hello?"

Anonymously called someone and told them that they are 'The One'?

Gone into a chatroom and typed the cryptic computer passages from the opening scene?

Ever chanted 'There is no spoon' every time you are faced with a difficult obstacle?

If so, WELCOME TO THE CLUB! We are the few, the proud, the obsessed. Wear your Matrix obsession proudly, and try to convert as many people to the Cause as you can so that you don't seem so crazy (even if you are). Remember everyone: There is no spoon. 


	2. What, you don't believe me?

For those of you who are still in doubt...

Do you or have you...?

Have a tattoo of a white rabbit on your shoulder?

Bought a white rabbit and named it Switch?

Cry every time you hear the word 'mouse'?

Sat in your basement for three days straight, wearing a trench coat and sunglasses, rocking back and forth chanting 'There is no spoon, there is no spoon, there is no spoon...'

Watched 'The Matrix' on TNT even though you already have the VHS, DVD, or both?

Shaved off every hair on your body, then super-glued a bottlecap to your neck?

Done the previous, then gone on a waterslide and pretended your being released?

Do what Zephyr does, which is laughed during math class when talking about vertices? (Zeph, for calling me cool, I am mentioning you in my list! You da addict! *lol*)

Run up to someone in the street if they're wearing all black, and then ask them if they have an exit ready?

Swipe people's cell phones off the street and then yell 'Mr. Wizard, get me the hell out of here!' into them?

Tried doing the Trinity fight scene on the cops when they try to arrest you for swiping the cell phone and yelling 'Mr. Wizard, get me the hell out of here!' into them?

Become seriously afraid of the secret service?

Mutter 'shit, shit, shit' whenever you look at the clock and it reads '9:18'?

"Accidentally" called your significant other either Neo or Trinity?

Made yourself a bumpersticker that says 'Digital Pimp; Hard at Work'?

Stopped visiting your grandparents because their hearing aids just look too much like the Agent's earpieces?

Bent all the spoons in your cafeteria, then stood up on a table and screamed at the top of your voice "THERE IS NO SPOON"?

Also for the ladies: Insisted that your boyfriend start wearing his hair like Keanu's? (especially like it is in the final scene...oh baby, that's what I like! I bet his hair smells like coconut....*eyes glaze over and begins to drool*)

Given the Cypher speech to the Operator? (I think the Operator is gonna get really tired of us calling her constantly and reciting 'Matrix' lines to her. *evil grin*)

Stopped eating steak because you're afraid you might suddenly turn evil like Cypher?

Gotten a devious look on your face whenever the cops at the airport ask you to remove all metallic items you may be carrying?

Play 'The Matrix' inside your head when you can't sleep at night?

Constantly insist that it's the year 2199, but you honestly don't know?

Alright, if you didn't believe me the first time, YOU ARE AN ADDICT! Why do you keep denying it? IT'S A GOOD THING! Sheesh! *Goes off to watch 'The Matrix' for the 782 time*


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